Just got my worst fears confirmed... What do i do?  :( .  Im kinda freaking out.

Well, I had a gut feeling.  We were in recon, or so I thought.  She told the IC she was 100% committed to working on fixing our marriage,  We had a great 8 weeks, spoke about so many things, told me everything a man could want to hear from his wife, things were going too well I guess.  Then the phone thing happened(see my other posts) and she recoiled like a snake.
Speech #2   " I just cant be everything you want me to be right now and I'm sorry if I'm letting you down "
Thursday I contact my lawyer and finally end this once and for all.  I will not go through this again

It gets better, I thought i was in recon, and now new mistakes are comming up.  I spent too much on a matress, i used my credit card, Im controlling (by setting a boundary, see my post). If I come back to the house things wont change. We're not a real couple.  all kinds of bullcrap.

Anyways, I have a feeling she is not going to want to go to her IC this week, she hinted at maybe going to a female C.  Ok boundary, I am paying for the sessions, she liked this C when she started, Im not going to sit around while she tries and find a counselor that says what she wants to hear.  She was trying to say well maybe he shouldnt be seeing both of us.

My stance, we stick with the program, we see our C the same one we have been seeing, or we go NC.

I posted about the whole phone thing, set aboundary, and broke it last night.  I found out through her mom that she had the phone cut off yesterday.  So, at about 11:30pm i texted her, simple question, did you take care of the phone? I got a very non chalant text back, I havent felt good all day im in bed now.  That got me upset.  She knows how important the phone thing was/is and i think she playing games.  If the shoe was on the other foot, id of called after i left the cel phone store

Her mother said she went to the cel place today to have the phone line turned off, or was supposed to.  We will see I guess.  Well, I know.

Am I right in thinking if I dont hear anything about this other phone today, something is amiss?

I found she(W) still (actually knew) has a cell phone that OM still has and its active on her account.  So, tonight i told her when she can prove that phone is off, then we can talk again, but not until then.  She says she can suspend the line and I said go ahead, but when its off or transfered to another phone we can talk again.  I had to set that boundary.  she swears she doesnt call it, changed her cell number, yada yada yada.  NO WAY  and this time I want proof.  Im pissed off at myself for not doing this sooner.  I let my emotions get in the way, opposite of detach.  I do actually feel better to a point now

yeah, she picked a winner.  LOL  polar opposite.  Little f'ing twirp he is

She has verbally reassured me and her actions too, small things,little by litle, day by day.  Before we started to recon.  my path seemed so clear, detach, divorce and move on.  didnt really want that, but i knew what i had to do, this road is alot trickier, good, but filed with its ups and downs

Worried,
What it the status of the OM, I assume the relationship has eneded, but what are you doing to address that??  No Contact??
Thanks
MLBHOME

-mlbhome

I am trying to simply be present, but at the same time this is going on, I do have my ever so tiny doubts/fears, I sometimes feel upset/fraustrated/angry(angry is too strong a word) about all of this, and I know this is MY own issue to deal with.  I guess thats where the rebuilding the trust comes in to play. I mean late at night, I look back, and see the emotional carnage of all of this, the financial destruction.  Not to make lite of a tragedy, but its like that town in the midwest that got 90% or so destroyed a few years back by a tornado.  Since we started talking again and spending time together she has put in alot of effort, but tonight, after i made my initial p;ost, I did bring some of this up.  I had to, cant explain. Maybe i felt i needed some reassurances, i know there really are none, but it was something that has been tugging at me since Sunday morning.