So When Do I Stop Caring Anything About Her?
This is a dumb question but I figure I'd get some good answers here. Its been 12 weeks since she left and although it took a while to sink in I haven't physically seen her in over 5 weeks. I've spoken to her a few times thinking it was necessary since it dealt with our 14 year old daughter or the sale of the house but I realize I shouldn't even do that. I have moved beyond the stage of hoping we'd get back together but now I want her to feel the misery and pain she caused me. I know its not healthy-just another way to keep her on my mind but it really ticks me off that she has all that she wanted-a divorce, freedom, an apartment, the ability to have sex with whoever she can get-but really hasn't lost anything. All her friends are still there. She still has her businesss. She still has the horse I gave her and even though alot of people at the stables where she and my daughter rides (and where I was very active too) know some of the details (her cheating and the 27 year age difference in her boyfriend) they're all still happy to see her.
So does a guy in my situation ever get to the point where I would not care either way? Is this just silly jealousy or is it normal? I would like to get to the point where if someone told me "did you here she got a DUI" I would just shrug and say "that's too bad" instead of jumping for joy.
Yes, you will get to the point where you won't care either way...happy, sad or even relish the thought of her misfortune. You will have moved on...more than likely she will still be stuck in the muck and the mire that you left her in.
I know several men who have moved on and are very happy....proud of their relationships with their children...strong, content and happy...most are still single and most have NOT embarked on a relationship with another woman...WHY? Because they are very happy living the life they are now living...free to do what they want , when they want.
It seems that there is a rainbow at the other side of the Yellow Brick Road for most of the Noble Men who survive their Wife's MLC...I know...no matter how it ends ...together or apart...it seems the men do very well!
Shepherdess
From the 5 stages of grief....................because we are dealing with the death of a marriage.
Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"
Bargaining —"I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay.
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
This final stage comes with peace and understanding
No exact time frame as each person and each situation is different.....................but in time we all get to acceptance.
"D" - have you read the other threads here? Find "Basil Duke: An Introduction" and "Basil Duke: An Update" for my story.
My short version advice to you is this: Don't tolerate your wife's disrespect - particularly if she has a boyfriend. This is the time to show her your backbone. You're not a doormat. But she'll treat you like one if you let her.
And get to a lawyer right now! Find out what your rights are. Take assertive action. Stop REacting to her MLC BS. (I guess you should give us some more background on your situation. IS your wife going through MLC?)
Give us some more information.
Basil Duke
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