Awakening by Sonny Carroll
Awakening by Sonny Carroll
A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out-ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something tochange ... or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that neither of you is Prince Charming nor Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you ... and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself ... and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties ... and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the **** you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with ... and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer"looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bare is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK ... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want ... and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it alone ... and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.
You learn that your faith isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state-the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and
you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and your faith by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.
Please know that I did not post this writing to give permission to anyone for dropping all that is important to them to find what is "Over the Rainbow"....this writing is about a LONG Journey of awakening...one that takes time, learning, making mistakes ...looking at every perspective and making changes that DOESN'T hurt others in the process...THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE KEY HERE: If you hurt others while searching or growing to your awakening...you are doing it ALL wrong!!! Stop and think about what you are doing!!!
Shepherdess
This 'Awakening' is totally where i am at ....
I might have to print it out and post it where i can read it daily...(with all rights to Sonny Carroll)
Thank-you SO much....
and also; Shep; for your addendum....
As i have been filtering through the pages of my life these past couple of years and moreso the past few months; I am keenly aware that my decision to awaken needs to not cause my spouse nightmares as he is still 'asleep'...
Part of the place i am in has to do with doing what I need to do for me; without expecting
it from my husband.
Sounds too simple, i know... but it's a bit of a big deal for me...
because, what has happened is...
as I am letting go of my hopes that certain things will change; I am finding that i am one more step away from him... from being woven together.... connected ....and after 24 years of marriage, this is foreign territory...
Autonomy is healthy... co-dependance isn't; but I'm not really talking about that extreme, either...
So...
now i am weighing the decisions...do I keep recycling the issues with him that I
would like to have change in and try to help him see? (been around that bush many times..)
Isn't that what brings growth and life to
any relationship to keep it from being stagnant?
Or do I do as I have started to do more... and give up the hope in the
changes happening on my terms, and simply finding other sources to
bring me those 'pieces'.
hmmm....
...and this is where the tension lies...
...as we are rooted in love and covenant, we bend towards and away from one
another in different ways and at different times as relationships do...
but I need to have grace for him as he is or ISN'T growing/changing....and grace for myself to KEEP growing/changing...
and
i'm
not
sure
how...
:) thoughts?
~magdalene
Magdelene:
I am not ignoring your post...I am praying and thinking on this one...I want to devote time to my response.
I will respond to you this weekend.
Shepherdess
Thanks, Shep....
I could sure use any Wisdom given...
I feel frail lately... and know enough to know enough...
I am struggling with the response to you, as time gets in my way and I want to do it justice.
I find that the awakening occurs every day...in isn't just one moment in time...and then you step out an move forward from there. It is an every day thing...just as my relationships are ever changing..
My relationship with my husband is not the same as it was when we first married ...it has grown and changed along with our family and what needs to happen as children grow older.
My center is not my husband OR my children...it is GOD. I have totally given up things changing on my terms because God will have His way with me and my life.
I am not in control of changing my husband...only God can change him. I gave up trying. Now, I don't enable behaviors that cause me to be upset or I just let things go.
Part of my MLC was realizing where my battles were and where they were not....I will not battle those things in my husband that I can not change...he is what he is and those things that I would like to change are so minor in comparison to the way my life could be...I just won't complain. I am grateful that my husband is still here...that he found it in his heart to forgive me and love me unconditionally. I owe him much. I have not settled...he is a noble man...who deserves respect and trust...I saw the other side...and my husband is superior in comparison.
There will always be tensions, disagreements...he lagging behind me in some things while I lag behind for him. THis can turn in to score keeping...I will not allow this again in our relationship ...it is poison...it causes resentment where resentment has no home. This is life and being a couple...I am not sure what sort of magical/spiritual connection you are looking for with your husband...but long ago I realized that this sort of connection is the one that I have with God...and if my husband shares this connection this is where we convene as one...in Christ.
It is an earthly partnership, just like my parents are my earthly parents...ultimately, it all comes down to God being our center for everything...from here all things come. My husband and I know this and we do lean in and away from one another at times.
Prayer, meditation and devotions...prioritizing in the way that I have suggested has helped me to give the grace to my husband and to myself that we both need.
Admittedly, this doesn't happen all the time and we get off balance...but this is when we both know that we are being attacked by the evil one...he knows how to set us off-balance. We slow down and pay attention to the details...saying and pointing out the attack.
None of this is easy...turning it over to God is a good place to start when you don't know how to do it... I have always found that He will lead through...in His time and in His way.
Like I said...It isn't about me or my husband ...what it is...is about God....as long as you know in your heart of hearts that He has you where He wants you to be...let God just do the work. If it hurts...is painful, stressful, worrisome...difficult...you are resisting the change that God wants you go through...the longer you resist the harder it will be...you will feel lost, frustrated and become confused...ripe for the attack. Lean in to God's hands as He molds the two of you, not questioning why...just trusting and believing that it is all for your good and not to harm you.
Does this make sense and help...let's keep discussing.
Shepherdess
Thank you for this. The Awakening. I hadn't seen it until today.
Struggling
@ struggling: it's quite good isn't it...it definitely is where a person wants to be or get to...so you/me can feel some peace.
I believe that is all I have ever wanted through all of this...is some peace...I still ache for it at times.
It is not easy being married or being a parent...but after The Awakening...it seems that there are times...moments that I feel content...peaceful...satisfied...but then life walks in and I have to deal with whatever it hands me with out trying to change it or adjust it to meet my needs.
I have discovered recently that I can not make everyone happy...no matter how hard I try...it is a waste of energy...fruitless quest, especially when others have a different set of needs and wants that they are attempting to achieve. I give up...I no longer try to make other's happy...and I tell them so. "I am not the Captain of your ship...or your cruise director...it is your job to make you happy and content." This I have control over...the letting go of other's responsibility to make themselves happy.
I have discovered in my awakening that I am no longer afraid of being alone...or being lonely. I came in to this world alone...I am going out of it alone...if I can't live with me within my own skin...then indeed, here on earth is h3ll. I fill myself up with me ...not others...whether it be my husband, my children , my friends...these people are the blessings in my life..the icing on the cake...I am grateful for their presence and their love....I have not earned any of it. I chose to risk them and they chose to forgive me....I am humbly grateful. But if they all went away...I would have to learn how to live without them....I no longer FEAR this the way I used to fear it....at the same time I have complete responsibility to be here in the moment and with those that I love and have brought in to this world. I no longer neglect this responsibility in the way that I did in the midst of the MLC.
It is also my job to entertain me. God equipped me with gifts and talents...it is my responsibility to grow them and then share them...or just save for myself...this I have control over.
My filling up comes from within now...I look to myself first before I turn any blame or make justifications...it is a waste of time to create rational-lies. I assure you the truth of the matter if you are not playing a role in the problems is blinding...Truth is truth...even those who are at fault will see it, when it is brought to their attention and they aren't spinning in their own crisis.
I have also learned to be very patient and know that the timing is not in my hands....so, part of the lesson of the awakening is to know what you can control and what you can't and accepting the fact that you really have control over very little...a person needs to learn how to be very flexible in life.
Life here on earth is NOT perfect or fair.
Perfection and control is a waste of very good time.
Ladies: I don't think we ever truly stop changing...we get used to the comfort zones and want to eternally stay within them...they are warm and cozy...safe havens to get lost in...but we end up getting complacent within them and this is when the tornado spins because whether we like it or not...life moves forward involuntarily and we end up finding that we have fallen behind the curve. SO, then we resist the change with all our might which causes more resistance..it is the fuel that powers the MLC and then we lose control when all we ever wanted was control of EVERYTHING.
The Awakening is the acceptance that we are not in control of anything...not even ourselves to a point...our subconscious is control of our conscious...until we can live with our inner, involuntary selves...we will always struggle with the outer being that we are in life.
Does this make sense or am I just rambling.?
Shepherdess
There is probably a reason why you didn't see till today...it was in the plan...it probably resonated with you today...as it probably wouldn't have when I first posted it.
thanks Shep.
Everything you have said is bang-on.
GOD is my centre.
I must not compare or keep score.
I can only control myself and my choices and must totally release the pressure to control others (by their desire to BE controlled) or my desire to control others (to meet my need).
In the past few days my husband and I have had some very serious long chats...
Since the past 2 years of my personal MLT/MLC I am awakening...
I am tired of feeling neglected, devalued and misunderstood. But I am going to try to quit expecting him to be the one to help me feel cherished. I will not look to him to meet my needs.
I
told him evenly and calmly that I will not be expecting anything in
terms of change from him, but that I will continue to grow and change
and do what i need to do to keep my soul from withering ... even if it
is independent of him.
Am I looking for some magical/spiritual connection like you said? Perhaps...
Perhaps it was too much to desire.
I wanted a husband who prayed with me...for me... who took an interest in the state of my soul.
I make the decision now to let that go, too
I had him read "The Awakening".
I
don't want out of the marriage because we do genuinely love one another
and besides....we know the consequences and fall-out are just not worth
it.
I do want to grow old with him.
I do want to act with integrity.....i hope i don't do anything foolish or hurtful...
I explained that what he doesn't realize is how I feel on the inside.... he can judge me on my actions but he has no idea how much agonizing i am doing on the inside that my ability to be holding on right now is pretty amazing considering how fragile I feel.
His complete lack
of spiritual investment into my life and relative lack of emotional
investment and general lack of romantic investment have left me
vulnerable.... again...
But I did tell him, I realize that
ultimately it is not about the marriage; it is about me and my age,
stress of life that we have been through this past 2 years etc..(more than what is 'normal').Yet; the marriage, being the most intimate relationship, is where it has shown up first.
But I am now choosing to do as you have said... not expect anyone else but me to fill me up...
and
God needs to be my centre...absolutely.
I have always preferred being alone, so this doesn't bother me. The challenge now is to let him in where he hasn't been before.
This rings loud "You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to
control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does
not mean lonely. "
The difficulty I am having is; not equating his lack of care and interest in me as being an indicator of my value.
Generally; we consider what we spend time, effort, money and our thoughts on is what we value.
When the actions speak louder than words, it is hard not to believe that he does not value me.
My identity must come from my understanding that I am a child of God, dearly beloved, and wholly cherished by God.
The other area of difficulty is working thru the difference between no expectations, but still having an expectancy.
To have no expectations can lead to hopelessness.
But if I can have hope ... or expectancy ... it helps me stay connected to the relationship.
I know my role as a wife/friend is far from perfect too.
I need to learn what is required of me.... aside from just meeting expectations. (there's that word again.)
I know God requires us to LOVE.... I need to learn to truly love.
These are just rambling thoughts... sorry if they do not seem cohesive.
As someone once said, “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”
Shep, I have read and re-read this entire string several times and have really tried to absorb it all but yet I am confused by what all you have written. So, maybe I need to back up a bit and give your more information. I would say my spouse lacks empathy, is on the very short end of the being affectionate, and is NOT sympathetic towards me. We have talked about my MLC and my needs...the greatest of which, is the need to connect...with him. We talk about it, but he basically tells me that it's "my" problem and I need to learn how to deal with it. I have to ask my spouse for affection, even a slight hug. He told me I needed to have a reason to cry and used the example of a death as being a reason. I look back over my married life and realize that I withheld my feelings and emotions because he would consider me weak if I expressed myself or cried. And now, I HAVE awakened...I have needs..the need to be spoken too, to be listened to, to be loved and respected. Is that too much to ask for? To be hugged once in a while? I have so much resentment...I totally agree that I can not depend on him for my happiness, but I so struggle with staying with someone that doesn't want or care enough to at least try and understand me and especially about what I am going through. We have no children.
I feel like I'm just rambling now...I just need to get this out. I feel cheated and I feel empty. I have gone to counseling...but obviously need to go back.
beenthere:
One of the keys to the Awakening is your realizing that in many occasions YOU have been enabling those in your life. May times people are co-dependent in their habits and the way they treat each other...it is hard habits to break...most will end after not being enabled after a while.
IMHO...you have been enabling your husband's treatment of you. There were times that my husband did the same...until the day that I didn't allow it anymore. If your husband can not give you the affection you need to feel whole AND you can not fill this need by yourself...then indeed, you may need to consider whether or not the marriage is good for you or not. Try everything before you walk away though...many of the things you mention is stemming from things that indeed YOU can fix within yourself...most of it is learning how to Let Go the need to change him or the need to make him happy...only he can change him or make himself happy. Only YOU can make YOU happy. Your success is not based on what he feels or thinks...it is based on how you feel and think first. I am mostly wondering why the two you married if you always hid they way you truly are...hiding your emotions...afraid to cry because you would appear weak.
I believe that you may need to go back to therapy...but I also think that some marriage counseling may be in order also...IF you can get your non-emotional, unaffectionate, cold husband (your characterization, not mine) to go. Have you always had to ask for a hug or affection...attention, consideration? With this little bit of information...you are right you DO deserve to be respected, understood and cared about...but I fear this is just the tip of a very large iceberg.....what made you fall in love with guy? What have kept you together...you don't have children? What truly keeps you there if you are being treated so cruelly or with such misunderstanding and lack of affection?
There are always two sides to every story and much of the behavior that is occurring is rooted in our childhood and our upbringing. These are the issues that have to be let go also during The Awakening.
And, now I am rambling.
Shepherdess
"You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. "
I agree with the Awakening and what Shepherdess has said. This has made me think about my parents relationship and the turmoil they went through when she was in her fifties. My parents relationship was based on my Dad being the domineering decision maker and my Mom passively going along with whatever he said. My Dad is a good man but this was how he was and I guess it was not uncommon for couples who got married in the fifties. My Mom didn't work and stayed home and my Dad was the breadwinner and decision maker.
I know this isn't exactly how you describe your relationship but it was the change that happened in my mom that may be similar. She started going to therapy and became stronger and more assertive. My Dad didn't like it at all and said it was too late in life for him to make changes. I was afraid they would end up divorced at the time. My Mom said she couldn't go back to the way it was and she was willing to leave the relationship if he couldn't accept the change in her and adapt. She stopped letting him control her and insisted on being part of the decisions. My Dad eventually did go to counseling with her and adapted to the "new her" He always loved her but didn't treat her with the respect that she deserved. They are still married... over 55 years now and I am glad that they are. But I am also glad for my Mom that she was able to make the changes she needed to make for herself even though it did put their marriage at risk for awhile. It's not that those old tendencies aren't still there but overall their relationship changed for the better. They used to fight terribly. My Mom was holding in anger a lot of the time and it would occasionally blow big time! They don't do that any more.
Sort of a bittersweet ending to the story is that now my Mom has pancreatic cancer. She was diagnosed almost a year ago. The prognosis is not good but she has done better than expected so far. The beautiful part about it is that my Dad is doting on her hand and foot and I think my Mom is loving it. It is obvious when I am with them how much they do love each other. My Mom is very appreciative and my Dad's face just oozes with love when he looks at her. I am just so grateful that they were able to work this out. I get a real lesson in love whenever I go visit them.
Maybe this doesn't relate to your story at all but it is just an example of a woman who couldn't take it anymore doing something to change things. Fortunately for my parents the outcome was good.
Thank you for sharing your parents' story. It is further proof that when two people are doing a dance, if one person changes the steps they are doing, the other one has to change, also, and soon they are dancing a new dance. I guess that is possible even after many years. My dad and stepmom seemed to come to terms in the last year of his life, although neither realized he was terminal at the time. I hold in anger a lot of the time, because I don't want to dance the angry dance. The "holding it in" dance doesn't seem to work very well either. Maybe I need to try some new steps, even if they seem wrong or strange at first.
A HUGE part of my Awakening has come in gratefulness...I had forgotten to be grateful in amongst all the busy-ness of my life.
Within my MLC I was truly grateful for nothing...not even the fact, that I was alive, breathing and healthy. I was always pointing out how I had sacrificed...I needed to be notice and appreciated...I was the one who was being taken for granted. My thought process was so "ME" oriented it was amazing that I thought my answers were going to come from someone else or other activities that had nothing to do with the life that I had dreamed of and happily carved out through the sacrifice and hard work that I selflessly gave before...BUT...had I given it selflessly?
Absolutely NOT! I had not given anything selflessly.
When I really think about it...I always felt that I was owed something...a pat on the back, a reward... everlasting devotion..something...but, then it was never really enough. I was a selfish teenager even though the years were passing one by one.
Another Awakening realization is that I had stalled my maturity at 19 years old....I had been spinning there for years, building and stuffing anger, resentment...so much bitterness building.
By going back to those days and unpacking certain events that happened around those years and re framing them in a positive light or releasing the anger about them, along with gaining a new perspective on specific events that I was harboring great guilt over and taking blame when I shouldn't have done so...in these healings I was able to move forward toward The Awakening that is described in Sonny Carroll's essay.
In the end for me...The Awakening has been an acceptance and a Letting go....an understanding of what a person can control or not control....it is releasing perfection and learning how to bend with the life that has come to be....and at the bottom of it all is a newfound appreciation....heartfelt gratitude for the simple things in life...past and present. The future is wide open...
Act II : Enter Smiling!
Have a Good Day..
....the awakening - an understanding of what a person can control or not control...it is releasing perfection and learning how to bend with the life that has come to be...and at the bottom of it all is a new found appreciation...heartfelt gratitude for the simple things in life...past and present. The future is wide open...A HUGE part of my Awakening has come in gratefulness...I had forgotten to be grateful in amongst all the busy-ness of my life.
Within my MLC I was truly grateful for nothing...not even the fact, that I was alive, breathing and healthy. I was always pointing out how I had sacrificed...I needed to be notice and appreciated...I was the one who was being taken for granted. My thought process was so "ME" oriented it was amazing that I thought my answers were going to come from someone else or other activities that had nothing to do with the life that I had dreamed of and happily carved out through the sacrifice and hard work that I selflessly gave before...BUT...had I given it selflessly?
Absolutely NOT! I had not given anything selflessly.
When I really think about it...I always felt that I was owed something...a pat on the back, a reward... everlasting devotion..something...but, then it was never really enough. I was a selfish teenager even though the years were passing one by one.
Another Awakening realization is that I had stalled my maturity at 19 years old....I had been spinning there for years, building and stuffing anger, resentment...so much bitterness building.
By going back to those days and unpacking certain events that happened around those years and re framing them in a positive light or releasing the anger about them, along with gaining a new perspective on specific events that I was harboring great guilt over and taking blame when I shouldn't have done so...in these healings I was able to move forward toward The Awakening that is described in Sonny Carroll's essay.
In the end for me...The Awakening has been an acceptance and a Letting go....an understanding of what a person can control or not control....it is releasing perfection and learning how to bend with the life that has come to be....and at the bottom of it all is a newfound appreciation....heartfelt gratitude for the simple things in life...past and present. The future is wide open...
Act II : Enter Smiling!
Have a Good Day..
[media]
-shepherdess
thank you Shepherdess: your words have described my awakening - my awakening also included discovering that I had no personal concept of future - never had - since as a child I developed the coping mechanism of today only - not tomorrow - not yesterday - today only. Without a sense of future I was unable to think long term - but I did not realize it. My awakening involved looking at the yesterdays and dealing with them; looking into the tomorrows with deep appreciation of what is to come; and, looking at the todays and being immensely grateful for the life I have and the people in my life who love and cherish me.
I am not the same person who began this journey two years ago - the woman who existed is gone. She was damaged and scarred and filled with unknown demons and could not find joy is just 'being'. Our journeys are rocky and difficult - and often times - perilous. But if we can find that spot within us which says - I am one heck of a lucky woman - I am a strong woman and I am exactly where I want to be - the hardships getting here will be well worth it.
I have found peace within me of who I am and how I got here. I have found gratitude for all the blessings that have come my way. I have found inner satisfaction with how I have lived my life. I have found the unconditional love and support of my life partner and my children. I have found that my future - instead of looking bleak - is a new beginning and this path is so much smoother and far more beautiful that I could have imagined.
just some thoughts - and - again, thank you for your words.
PEACE
In the midst of my personal awakening, I am more grateful for what I truly have and learning to see things and people as they are; not as I think I need them to be.
Myself included.
At the same time, I want to believe in the potential for becoming more fully alive.
More whole.
Thanks ladies for sharing so personally....
I will be back here often...
Has anyone seen the movie Surrogates with Bruce Willis?
It so reminds me of MLC.
