Basil Duke Update
After reading your recent posts, I can't help feeling really sorry for your ex. I know she has done wrong and you have every right to be angry with her for what she has done to you and your family. I have a friend who left her husband years ago for another man and then married the other man. As it usually happens, the other man ended up being a jerk and he cheated on her. Now she is sad and alone. She told me. I made a terrible mistake. My husband was a good man and I left him for this! She is my friend... she is not a bad person. What she did was wrong and she is paying the price for it. There is no going back for her... no reconciliation with her first husband. Infidelity is not easily forgiven. I don't blame anyone for not being able to forgive that. I just feel bad for my friend and I feel bad for your ex. People make mistakes sometimes and they have to live with the consequences. But I think if a person realizes they were wrong and are truly remorseful about it, they deserve forgiveness. I don't know the point of this post, other than just expressing my feelings. I am sure I am more sympathetic than I would have been five years ago, because of what I have been through. I didn't log in so am posting this as a guest but this is struggling.
I feel bad for her, too, Struggling, I really do. She found herself flung into a game that was far beneath her - and way over her head. At the peak of her frenzy, she was the nastiest piece of work you'd want to meet - sullen, arrogant, cutting and as self-absorbed as any 16-year-old girl. But now that the dust has cleared, and her soul mate is long gone, she feels like a self-debased idiot. What can I do? Care from afar, really, is about it. I suspect that the MLC wrecking ball is still on standby and ready to start swinging again (if there were anything left standing to destroy, which there isn't), but for now, she sees her decisions for what everyone else saw a year ago: the height of folly. Doomed. I hope she can rebuild herself, and re-establish at least a shadow of the relationship she used to have with our son.
I am thinking the same things, struggling...I believe that Basil's exW is showing signs of remorse is a good thing for her healing and being able to move forward in her life...but at the same time it has come at such a HIGH COST.
This is why I have felt the need to have this forum with the MEN and WOMEN together discussing. The women get to read about other's stories and hopefully STOP before it gets out of hand or out of control...the TRUTH will open some people's eyes or keep someone from acting on urges that they would so easily do. As human beings, if we come together with the same problem...we tend to enable each other.....when someone who is going through the reality of what a woman wants to do and the fantasy is not a fantasy...then hopefully the TRUTH will be planted in the wall of denial that is being built.
Forgiveness comes in time....and is an entity that is worth its weight in gold. It is not easily earned or given...In the end...none of the running and playing is worth it...your friends realization proves this, along with what Basil's exW will conclude...none of it was worth it.
Shepherdess
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