This is from one of my posts yesterday....
"Got an e-mail from one of W's best girlfriends chking on us. She says she has not heard from the W in several weeks. She told the wife continually to break it off even when she was home. She says she has put some distance between herself and W as she can longer offer a friends support to her based on what she is doing."
Ok ..I just got some new info on this. My son spoke with this friend of my wife's.. sister yesterday at the HS football game. (my son and her son are roomates in school)
This sister also cuts my wife's hair is a friend of hers too.
Now my Wife's friend got some texts from the OM one evening this past week while he was out at the bar, ...W was not there. Apparently what he was sending her was not of a friendly nature, and knowing her like I do ( she takes no $hit) she sent back some responses that....were not friendly either. This went on for 3-4 hours before it ended.
If the sister knows what was said she didn't tell my son, but she did say what OM sent was not nice and that he texted her out of the blue. This friend as I said told me she has not communicated with the W since the hearing.
So my W's friend has told me she is keeping her distance from her...and this is why. My son said that this friend was pi$$ed at this guy, but we don't know if W knows or not.
This was my W's best friend......I can not imagine what this idiot thought he would accomplish but he picked the wrong women to fool with believe me.
I'm gonna try to find out what was said if she'll tell me but more importantly if she let the wife know.....
MLBHOME
apparently the wife was out having a drink with a group including OM. Girlfriend says some of the offending texts came from W's phone.
I e-mailed wife that I don't expect this garbage to be happening to the kids, OM thinking he'll be funny and send D a text. She of course sent back a raging e-mail about how I should have my facts straight before accusing OM .
She defended him, he would never do that, he also knows better then to use her phone ( which he has in the past) and that it was probably "the group of people they were with" that they must have sent them using his phone. Also she says she never sent anything, but in the next sentence says she tried to contact her friend to explain the texts...that W says SHE never sent!! Plus she says she never contacted her, which her friend said she did.
Shep, I sent back an e-mail of "facts" telling W some facts that I have straight.. and listed 10 or 11 "facts" of what she has done and listed them. I have heard nothing back.
Also told her we are not in her world where we should believe anything she says, like OM phone got past around the room and these idiots sent texts to someone they didn't know, and that W sent them too,
but said she didn't do it.
This was her best girlfriend...I mean she tried to help W, was supportive, took her to dinner when she left, and this is what the W does. W says that her friend sent her texts that "crushed her" (previous to this ) and I should ask about those. This friend told her she was making a mistake and question OM character and so on.
Her friend and her friend's sister are through with W, and wife says she doesn't care. So she now has no friends from the "previous" life. Her friend told me that she is mentally spiraling and that her judgement
is so far gone, that before she could talk to her, she didn't listen but she could talk to her, but now she can't as wife was offended and hurt that her friend didn't think what OM was doing was funny. Her friend told me that W was angry..about that.
This friend said I should be concerned, but there is nothing I can do. Her friend hopes she'll "wake" up as "the circle of destruction is getting wider"
She was wondering if the worsening mental status,anger and defensiveness is a sign that perhaps the fantasy isn't going well and she is trying to hang on to it. I said I don't know.
So that was today.....
MLBHOME
This is all so out of the blue...very high school...teenager-like don't you think? Something that you, your son or your wife's old friend needs to NOT/AVOID playing in to...Do Not lower yourself to their level by responding with e-mails or texts. Remain above the fray by not engaging in the immature banter of an OM who apparently has a stunted maturity level AND your Wife who has been whisked back to her high school days with this addictive relationship. There is no excuse for this immature behavior on either of their parts....you need no explanation for the actions...you know the who, what, where, why of all of this and IT IS a part of the teenage fantasy that they are living. Without knowing the context of the phone texting argument they had...I couldn't tell you if it is the end of the fantasy or not. The fact that your Wife is defending him and his actions tells me she is still entrenched....even if the relationship is swirling down the toilet...she is still risking relationships for him.
With these sorts of things...no engagement at all is best. Your Wife's friend should not have engaged in the OM's game...people like him love this kind of thing...they feed off of it. Don't you remember people like this when you were in High School? They are like the playground bully...taunting...and poking...prodding for a reaction...any kind of reaction.
The anger that your Wife is displaying is the anger/defensiveness that is building at the fact that no one is backing down AND that wrestling with the devil is getting more and more difficult...the TRUTH of it all keeps on smacking her in the face no matter how hard she tries to avoid it....and that PI$$e$ her off! If she admits she was wrong...it means that everyone else was right....she can't bear the idea of that...because it would mean that she had risked everything for nothing. It could be that she is losing her footing with the fantasy and she IS trying to hang on to it...but it may be that she is just mad at the fact that no one is backing down and seeing her side. I tend to lean on the later.
Though I am telling you to remain above the fray this doesn't mean you don't take note...as long as the OM's stupid actions remain outside of your inner family unit...there is no need to truly act on this until or when this enters in to your children's lives and affects it. If you must address stuff like this...speak to her directly about it...e-mails and texts are written and can be kept to use against you.
Tell your W's old friend to detach also...she has to or she will be pulled in to the under tow of the situation. I believe she has already realized this fact. It is a waste of her time and emotion at this point.
No response to this immature cr@p is better then feeding the OM's and her fire.
Shepherdess
She has the mental age of 15 or 16, now. I've been with her since we were 17, and she never acted like this. But hey when surrounded by immature idiots, you gotta do these things to stay in the group, the click.
My daughter said the same thing..."what??, does she think she's in HS???
She is getting worse, told her ex-friend what you have been telling us, stay away, and she is.
Scratch her last friend, there's no more left. Oh, and the garnishment of wages for support starts today.
MLBHOME
Got your note Shep, and my e-mail to her was 2 fold. Per the agreement no offensive or vulgar communications.
Secondly was to remind her that her OM had sent our daughter texts and voice messages in the past, (before all this started, which led to our daughter labeling him a creep) as W would leave her cell phone on her desk and OM would take it and call D early in the morning on summer vacation thinking it was funny. I told W at that time to tell him to stop, and he did.
However I did put a shot across the bow that if the 2 of them are sitting in a bar and he decides to send something "funny" to me or the kids, that I would not be humored and I would hold her responisible.
That's when I got the "he would not do that, he knows better, that was a long time ago", garbage.
So she sent the e-mail that accused me of not having the facts and some other sputterings, and in my return e-mail that's when I said , "if your interested in facts here;s a few", and then listd them bullet point fashion.
Her ex-friend e-mailed me this morning, saying she was done with W, and that she would be checking on us.
MLBHOME
I hadn't remembered that the OM had left text and VM's to your daughter. I understand. A response was warranted.
Shep
It was like 2 years ago or more, before any of this blew up. I just wanted W to know that I hadn't forgotten, and if the two of them in the throws of being in HS, I didn't want her to think that it would be funny for him to send something.
There may be things afoot for OM at work that perhaps the Almighty is intervening, or thinking about it.
That's what my spies tell me.
If something develops you all will be the first to know.
Sorry for all the posts, just needed a place to tell somebody.
MLBHOME
What have you heard about the scumbag's work situation? Has his 'lifestyle' raised some eyebrows?
...going next door to the restaurant bar while on the clock, and coming back to work moving expensive cars around after drinking.
Apparently he walks over there after 5 when the bosses leave for an hour or hour and half, as he works till 7. He's usually the last one there to lock up so .....
I guess this past Friday it was pretty blatant as he went over early as the bosses left earlier, and came back to lock up somewhat bagged.
My spy tells me that she was one who went in to the owner of the dealership, apparently there were others also that said this has been going on for some time, (which it has my wife told me) and that my spy and another were motoviated by the situation between him and my wife. Just sick of his cr@p
I told my spy about the abusive texts OM sent to my W's former friend, (which she knows and likes)
so she got pi$$ed.and then later a second person came to the owner.
My spy tells me that OM being watched, the spy tells me he will be stupid enough and will get caught.
She said there are people there that seriously dislike him over this situation, particularly when she put out a few bugs that he got a snootful and sent these texts to the friend who some of them know and like.
She said give it time, his circle is shrinking, she will keep me updated
MLBHOME
Bummer
So fingers and toes are crossed, and the viking hemet is firmly in place.
MLBHOME
On TextGate, my wife's former friend e-mailed me that she has been texting and leaving messages for W to get back to her about who was using W's phone to send texts.
Her friend called back one of the numbers that texted her and lo and behold it was one of OM's best weasel buddies. (I met this idiot once and after 10 mins wanted to re-arrange his trachea). So you got OM sending cr@p via his phone and buddies phone, his buddy sending cr@p on his own phone, and either W, OM and/or weasel buddy sending cr@p from W's phone, all to what was her best friend.
Her friend again said the stuff was personnal and only W would know, so she was feeding them info.
How much lower can she sink?? How ITH can she even justify this behavior?? And now she hides, won't face the repercussions........which is typical.
This lady was a good friend, known her and family since the kids were 3 and 6. She harbors no ill will towards me, now understands what we have been dealing with. I told her to bring her hub and stop for a beer, she said she will.
It's gettin worse
MLBHOME
MLB:
Detach...hit the ignore button on this one...they are acting like immature High School nut jobs and you are giving much too much time and emotion to this... let these idiots hang themselves on their own immature shenanigans. If you must react to this nonsense...find out from your lawyer what it would take or what a person needs to do to bring a harassment order or a restraining order against him to make him stop this annoying behavior. If you find anything out ...let this friend know what she can do...but don't have her over for any type of social gathering or "for a beer". Any socialization of any type with a female...old friend or not, could be used against you...Do you really think that they aren't waiting for you to mess up in this way? You betcha they are...Keep that Viking hat on straight my friend. Knowing that her old friend now gets it... is reassuring...but this doesn't mean you can now join forces.
Indeed it is getting worse...but you don't have to help it along by connecting with this old friend other than through e-mail or a phone call or two. Forgive me for seeing something that may not be there...but I have seen situations just like this grow in to something that turned very ugly. and it was totally innocent. Believe me!
Shepherdess
WHOA!!! HOLD IT!! (SIRENS BLARING!!!!!)
This friend is married and I asked her AND her husband (hub) to come over...I know her husband very well. We all used to get together as couples and stuff. Nothing funny, they ..THEY just wanted to stay in touch with me and the kids...plus our kids grew up together. Nothing funny!!!
She is done with wife, she and husband just want to try and get together for burger and a beer, and get the kids together. Not joining forces or anything.
Not getting involved with nothing no way, no how, and I know anything I do will get pounced on...way ahead of you.
As far as the texting thing, TextGate is over, just thrown it out there to see thoughts that's all.
I'm above board with all texting and emailing. I have saved everything, and there is nothing that I have said or sent that I would not show my kids.
Just put info about W out to show how much more she is sinking, and regressing maturity wise. I would interpet it as spiraling downward.
But we are good, you know how I obsess till I get all the info, now I'm happy, till the next crazy event
.
MLBHOME
Okay....just making sure...You do see how even reading this thread the fact that you never mentioned the old friend was married and hubby was included in the invite would be construed as something different. You have mentioned other women who were your W's friends and they were divorced without names or knowing exactly to whom you are referring...some folks who are no privy to in depth information or those who can twist and turn info..could make what you wrote look and sound just like what I warned you against. It has happened...this is what I am making sure that you avoid. The above post clarifies this... just making sure your are staying on your toes...
Just doing my job...
Shepherdess
There's no way I want the "House Mother" after me!! Basil's the one that causes all the trouble!!! Sorry, I'm trying not to "out" anybody. I'll be more clearer next time. Plus just wanted to see if your paying attention! I am desparatly trying to uncomplicate my life, not make more chaotic then it is. You know it's that helpless feeling that gets me. Like this whole texting thing. It's middle school behavior that she would never have done, but she's with that "crowd" that she does this stuff to fit in I guess. The real W wouldn't have bothered with any of these people, outside of being polite. No, I'm careful, hell, I'm at work, or at home, I don't do anything else. In Ohio we had the corner taverns, small places been there since the war and you could walk up and the owner was 90 years old, the TV B&W, and you get a fish bowl beer for a buck or less. And it was a neighborhood place and you could talk about anything. They had the old beer signs, and the hockey puck bowling machine. Played softball for some of them, beer league stuff. I miss that. Here in Tx, you go to Chili's....yuck. I guess in OH if they weren't taverns they would be saloons. No bands, an old juke box, 4 plays for a quarter. We lived in one house that we would walk up to the corner tavern and the neighbors would be there. If I had known this was going to happen, I would have enjoyed it more. Life was simpler then. MLBHOME
Moi, a maker of mischief? You cut me, MLB, and I bleed. I am human. (Joking!)
But I must agree with the Shepherdess: you're devoting too much of your precious emotional and physical energy to these fools and their silly texts. Forget 'em! Stick to yer game plan: play by your rules and keep strong, man! Ewe kane dew EET!
Just showing in the face of their pure stupidity I have my sense of humor.
You have no idea how many times I have your words in my head .."don't try to figure it out", "don't take it personally", "she's out there spinning"..
All so true. Also how this will get worse before it may get better.
Not quite sure how much further she'll go down, I guess we'll see.
Tryin to keep it real...I need a translation on that last line. French or Klingon??
Ok I know you guys hate it when I put every little detail on here...but this is good.
My spy at OM's work was told from a very reliable other spy ( hates OM too) that OM and his dirt bag buddy are going to go to Fla, to see the Nov. 16th launch of the space shuttle.
Why is this significant...well we have the annual Thanksgiving week family trip to Fla, to meet and stay with IL's and BIL/SIL and family for the week. Done it the last 12 years.
Due to wife's actions her parents have told her to stay away, even though her company is closed the tuesday before till the monday after Thanksgiving.
Now OM is going with his loser buddy ( it's not at thanksgiving) but he's going, and she can't or wasn't invited to go.
LOL....sorry, but if you knew how much she loves Fla, the beach, seeing everyone, and no one wants her there, and this dude says, "oh by the way me and Retard 2 are going for a couple of days of golf and space shuttle.....OMG when will she see!!
My spy tells me, this is his typical behavior...no one but himself.
MLBHOME
She's way off in her own, addled world, MLB. Instead of looking inward or becoming angry at her scumbag for abandoning her, she'll get mad at you and her family. It'll be YOUR fault, not hers or his. That's how this game is played. My ex is still "mad" at me because I made her "life a living hell for six months." It's ridiculous - and so infantile on their part. I guess it really IS child-like behavior. We all remember a time as children when we were disciplined for breaking a rule, and how ticked off we were at mom or dad. It wasn't that I threw a football through the front window, it's that mom was such a b**ch for grounding me for it. "But throwing that football inside the house felt so goooooood, mom! It made me laugh!"
Oh I know...This whole thing, this whole mess, not one thing has turned out for her like she said. Not one.
Since this started she is on her 3rd job, making the same money.
All the things the OM said they were going to do..hasn't happened.
She filed for divorce, the reason, "cause you told me to"
She's paying 35% of her net pay to me
She lives in a one bdrm apt.
She has no relationship with her son
Barely has one with her daughter
Does not speak to me
Barely any relationship with extended family
Drives 35 miles one way to work, when our house is 4 miles away
She has alienated all her friends
She has no diginty, or self respect left
She's spending the holidays with NO family
All for a car parking loser, with the maturity of a 13 yr old, no future, no motovation, no character,
but he's funny
Crazy
